[Sadie]

Just wanted to post this here and share. It’s also a reminder to me of what I said I would be accountable for. 😀

my brain and heart divorced

a decade ago

over who was

to blame about

how big of a mess

I have become

eventually,

they couldn’t be

in the same room

with each other

now my head and heart

share custody of me

I stay with my brain

during the week

and my heart

gets me on weekends

they never speak to one another

– instead, they give me

the same note to pass

to each other every week

and their notes they

send to one another always

says the same thing:

“This is all your fault”

on Sundays

my heart complains

about how my

head has let me down

in the past

and on Wednesday

my head lists all

of the times my

heart has screwed

things up for me

in the future

they blame each

other for the

state of my life

there’s been a lot

of yelling – and crying

so,

lately, I’ve been

spending a lot of

time with my gut

who serves as my

unofficial therapist

most nights, I sneak out of the

window in my ribcage

and slide down my spine

and collapse on my

gut’s plush leather chair

that’s always open for me

~ and I just sit sit sit sit

until the sun comes up

last evening,

my gut asked me

if I was having a hard

time being caught

between my heart

and my head

I nodded

I said I didn’t know

if I could live with

either of them anymore

“my heart is always sad about

something that happened yesterday

while my head is always worried

about something that may happen tomorrow,”

I lamented

my gut squeezed my hand

“I just can’t live with

my mistakes of the past

or my anxiety about the future,”

I sighed

my gut smiled and said:

“in that case,

you should

go stay with your

lungs for a while,”

I was confused

– the look on my face gave it away

“if you are exhausted about

your heart’s obsession with

the fixed past and your mind’s focus

on the uncertain future

your lungs are the perfect place for you

there is no yesterday in your lungs

there is no tomorrow there either

there is only now

there is only inhale

there is only exhale

there is only this moment

there is only breath

and in that breath

you can rest while your

heart and head work

their relationship out.”

this morning,

while my brain

was busy reading

tea leaves

and while my

heart was staring

at old photographs

I packed a little

bag and walked

to the door of

my lungs

before I could even knock

she opened the door

with a smile and as

a gust of air embraced me

she said

“what took you so long?”

~ john roedel

(art by Paula Rosello)

[Sadie]

Oh you guys… It was so good to see you all on Saturday. Even if I had to do it from my hospital bed. I want to thank you all for your good thoughts, prayers, and well wishes!! I’ve been in the hospital/rehab center for a week and a half now. And let me tell you, as most of you probably know, it’s not a cakewalk!! And knowing that I have a group such as you, and all of H+C, is truly helping me to keep my sanity! This whole group means the world to me! And I love you all! ❤️

[Sadie]

Hey y’all, I don’t know if I can make it tonight either, still bed bound, but I’m going to try my best!! If I can’t make it, I’ll be thinking about y’all! ❤️

[Sadie]

Hey Everyone,

I’m going to have to miss bookclub today. I’m having some issues that have landed me in the hospital. I’ve been here for two days. Hopefully they can figure out what is wrong so I can get out of here. I really hope to see y’all next week. Have fun! 😀

[Sadie]

Hey y’all, I have another meeting today before bookclub. I may be a little late if I can make it. I’m *hoping* I can. If not I’ll catch y’all next week… Would love to know the outcome of if we are finishing the book or going the Joe Dispenza route?! 😊

[Sadie]

Hey y’all, I have another zoom meeting before bookclub today. It sometimes goes kind of long. I’m going to do my best to make it to bookclub. If I can make it I may be a little late. Otherwise I’ll catch y’all next week. 😊

[Sadie]

Hey y’all, I realized there is an updated version of my website. So if I post anything you will be able to find it at the following link. 😀…

https://sadieyoung5.wixsite.com/sadiespace

sadieyoung5.wixsite.com

Home | Sadiespace

Home | Sadiespace

[Sadie]

Hey y’all, I’m in the midst of a multi-transportation adventure back to the city. I’m hoping to make it back for bookclub in a little while. If I can make it, I might be a little late. If I am unable to make it, I’m thinking about you all and wishing everyone Happy Holidays! ❤️

[Sadie]

Thank you, Nate! Looking forward to meeting up again. Yes, it was really good to meet up with Jacob. As it is always really good to meet up with everyone. May everyone have a blessed thanksgiving. If and/or how ever you choose to celebrate. See you all soon! 🤗

[Sadie]

If you go to the menu and click on member sessions, that will take you to the events. Scroll to the one you want and click on the title. The zoom link should be listed on the event.

[Sadie]

Hey y’all, are we wanting to handle this next section of the book like we just did with the first? Like read the first three “chapters” from Tending Sweetgrass for the first week. Then the other two “chapters” for the second week?

[Sadie]

Looking forward to seeing you all in a couple of hours. I’m excited and I can’t wait to go on this adventure and ride the ride with you all! ❤️

[Sadie]

Thank you, Susan! Wednesdays and Thursdays would work best for me as I have previous commitments Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays. I so enjoy our time together and look forward to seeing everyone again soon! 😊❤️

[Sadie]

I am editing/adding to my response as I realized that I too am available on Saturdays as well. 😊

[Sadie]

Hey Nate and all, my heart apologizes for being on a rant at today’s discussion. (The chili pepper was on fire today! 🤦🏼‍♀️) I know we are here to discuss our dreams and not everyday life issues that don’t need to be discussed during book club.

(Broken record, I know), I truly appreciate this group (and the entire Heal + Create community). You all are a sanctuary to me so to speak. Thank you all for helping me down this sometimes crazy road which is life. Thank you for your listening and generosity. You all contribute to my healing, which I will be forever grateful. You all really rock my world! ❤️

[Sadie]

Hope you’re feeling better! We missed you Susan! ❤️

[Sadie]

You’re welcome! Sorry, as I probably didn’t get your question in time. The next one on the calendar is scheduled for Sunday, November 17th.

[Sadie]

We’ll miss you, Joanne. Hope to see you next week! ❤️

[Sadie]

Thank you Nate! I’ll get through what I can. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone in a couple of hours… I am loving this book! 😀

[Sadie]

@teresad That’s exciting! I’m happy for you! Congratulations!

😀

[Sadie]

We’ll miss you, Susan. Take care of yourself. We look forward to seeing you at our next meeting. ❤️

[Sadie]

Yes, Thursday the 26th works for me. I can’t wait to see you all again and dive into this book! 😊

[Sadie]

Now there’s the look of a proud papa! I know mom and brothers are too! What a sweet and beautiful family!

[Sadie]

I’m fine with postponing it until next week.

I’m excited you found a place that will let her share the stage with them. 👩‍🎓 Congratulations to all! 🎉

[Sadie]

We missed you, Susan. So sorry you’re not feeling well. Hope you feel better soon!